A Drunk On A Bus

Abeg Ladies, how often do you get to sit next to a drunk on a bus?

I have never sat next to any and i don’t wish for it to happen Lol… cos it can be disgusting….

I was returning home late one night and had to take a bus home. As usual, earphones plugged in my ears and i was ready for the bus ride home. It took a while before the bus got filled up, then the bus conductor collected his fare and the ride started.

Truth be told i was scared, because it was past 10pm and unusual for Ikeja to be so calm and dull at that time. Trust me to put up the no nonsense babe face with an attitude. I was sat on the second row of seats by the window and in the first row sat  a young boy (little boys of these days who feel they are too grown to be given advice cos they sag their jeans and feel the world should be placed at their feet), a female trader, a young lady who could pass for a little girl, but she was corporately dressed, so my guess was a young lady with small body…. hmmm and the bus conductor.

As for my row and the last row, the passengers couldn’t be bothered. As soon as they got on the bus, their mode was switched to sleep mode. except for two igbo traders who were not closed for the day, decided to continue business on the bus.

At first, i thought the young lady seated in front was in the mood to speak English, until i smelt it in the air. It was a terrible smell that could turn your empty stomach in different directions. I had to take out the earpiece outta my ear to listen to what the rant was about and who caused it when the next thing that happened got me speechless OMG!!!.

The young boy who has been sleeping all the while i got on the bus till the bus was on the go, was a sleep drunk, drunk to stupor young man, who’s had a lot of free drinks from where ever he went to, knowing fully well that he can not stomach a lot of alcohol. Is that how far his boy-ism could get him? well it seemed so.

Apparently, all the while the young lady was complaining, with the unpleasant smell in the air, i thought the babe was just making noise unnecessarily until the young man oops… scratch that, the poor boy threw up all the disgusting liquid he’s had so far on the poor darling’s pretty face, and some more onto her well tailored dress. Ghen ghen!

See wahala…. What happened next made me laugh. It took her ten seconds to recover from the spill and so she turned his face and gave him a hot slap, poor boy was way too drunk to realise what he’s done that even the the slap could not summon him out of his dilemma. This got to the babe that she continued the slap torture till the igbo brothers had to beg her to stop. hahahahahahahahahaha babe was furious. I alighted at my bus stop and couldn’t help laughing.

At that moment, i thought, what if it were me? what would have been my reaction?

What would you do?

See you next time………